Reclaiming my JOY!

To blog or not to blog?  Why do people blog?  Why would I attempt to write a blog?  I don't know the answer to either of these questions.  I know that I completed the 100 Happy Days through Facebook and Instagram and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  I also know that I find myself on Facebook and/or Instagram WAY TOO MUCH!  I get up in the mornings and Facebook is one of the first things I look  at.  Why is that?  Often times when I scroll through the posts, it makes me feel bad.  Bad about myself or my life.  And why is that? Well, because I am comparing...UGH!  Comparing my life to the lives and experiences of others.  Doing that is so incredibly TOXIC!!! 

I read an article posted by one of my dear students the other day about 5 things we need to stop doing; 5 things that prevent us from experiencing JOY in our lives.  Everyone should read this http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/5-habits-sabotage-joy So, the five things that sabotage joy in our lives are comparing, controlling, criticizing, competing, and complaining.  Oh my gosh, seriously...this is so true!!!  Doing any of those five things will bring you down and truly suck the joy right out of life.  And you know what I've realized?  That spending my free time scrolling through Facebook, looking at other people's lives makes me do those five joy-sucking things.  I compare.  I try to compete with others, whether it is mentally or physically; I always think I am not as good as so-and-so or how can do better.  I think we should strive for more and challenge ourselves, but not at the expense of making ourselves feel bad.  And then I complain....I complain in my head or to my husband about my life.  Why am I so ________?  Fill in the blank.  Why am I so fat, lazy?  Why have I not completed my doctorate?  Am I stupid?  Can I really do this?  Why don't I have kids by now?  Should my life be different?  Should I have more pictures of family?  Should I eat better?  Why didn't I work out today?  Do people like me?  Okay, so these are more questions I suppose, but comparing, competing, criticizing, and complaining are all wrapped up in each of these questions. 

So, I've realized two big things over the past 100 Happy Days.  One, I have SO MUCH to be happy about.  I have SO MUCH joy in my life!  And two, comparing my life to others does not bring me joy.  I have been reading an amazing book about Pope Francis and his leadership style.  I am learning a lot about the power of a servant, quiet, thoughtful leader.  Being Catholic is one of the things that brings me great JOY!  One thing that has really resonated with me from this book is the concept of being in the world, but not of the world.  As a Jesuit, Pope Francis lives this out and has taught this concept to many of those he's mentored.  So what does it mean to be in the world, but not of the world?  I am challenged by that thought.  I want my life to positively impact others.  I want to make a difference in the world around me. But I do not want to be consumed by greed, materialism, or competition.  I want to be happy for those around me and love the life I live!

I'm not really sure any of this makes sense.  But to me, somehow in my mind, it does.  For myself, for my health and happiness, I am committing to reduce my Facebook time and to focus on the things that bring me joy!  That's not to say that my friends and family on Facebook don't bring me joy.  It's just that I know being on some form of social media all the time is not good for me.  And I am writing this for me.  I'm not going to share it with anyone...for now.  Just me.

Challenges and Courage

Well, it has been over a month since a posted something that I am thankful for. I haven't done very well at keeping up my 365 days of gratitude. :( Sad day!  But, that is no reason to stop it altogether. I was reminded today by a dear friend's blog that we need to be thankful for the blessings in our life. I am thankful for the gift of technology that allows me to communicate with my friends and family. It also allows me to stay up to date with what is going on in their lives. Over the Christmas break I did a TONS of traveling, and I remember thinking to myself how incredibly thankful I was for the ability to do that...travel and visit family.  And of course, being so VERY grateful for family. Oh my goodness...how precious they are! I stayed in a house with nearly 10 people and 2 dogs and, though it was a little crazy at times, it was fun.  And boy did we laugh!!!

I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to be pursuing my doctorate.  So many people have made that possible for me through their support and I will forever be indebted to them.  I worked and completed the first draft (I am sure of many) of my literature review for my proposal in January. Persistence...persistence...persistence.  I must keep going!!!  I am grateful and blessed to have people who believe in me and encourage me...like my family, Kyle, Dr. Russell, friends at McMurry, my students.  I love it when they call me Dr. Roberts. LOL :)  I am not there yet...but someday, someday I will be.  I am thankful for the population I am studying and the challenges they have endured so far that have lead me here to develop my topic. 

This has been an eventful week. I have been faced with quite a few obstacles. Sometimes I am afraid. Will I be able to handle this? Am I doing an okay job? Am I making a difference? Courage...strength...in the face of challenges and adversity. I know God has presented me with these challenges for a reason. I look at this as an opportunity to be reminded of why I got into Student Affairs in the first place. THE STUDENTS! And so it comes full circle, yet again.  2004 - Director of Student Activities & Orientation. 2009 - Director of Student Activities & Orientation. and yet again...2012 - Director of Student Activities & Orientation. I love it! And yet it scares me!

Thank you GOD for opportunities that challenge and scare me...my dissertation, my job, my relationships.  For it is in these challenges that I learn to love you and know you more and that I learn more about myself. Help me to keep my focus on YOU and praise YOU in all that I do. 

So today, I am thankful for challenges for the challenges in life bring courage!

Batman and Dr. Doom

Today I am grateful for my nephew, Price...time with him and his imagination! We went to the park today and played superheroes. He was Batman and I was Dr. Doom. Price's imagination is so fun and playtime is so exciting! His enthusiasm and laughter and energy! Price and imagination - day 2

The Journey Begins

In November, I saw lots of my Facebook friends do "thirty days of thankfulness" or something like that. I thought it was a great idea...focus on the things we are thankful for. I didn't take part in the thankfulness party, but began to think how I could adapt a more thankful lifestyle, a more thankful heart, and a more thankful attitude for myself. I have thought to myself...it doesn't have to be on a public forum via Facebook or a blog (which I don't, or didn't have at the time)...I also thought that I wanted it to be visible to me. By visible, I thought I would put post-it's on my laundry room/garage door and everyday when I left the house, I would stop and write down something I am thankful for. Then, I could see all the things I have to be thankful for.

But I continued to think, and think, and think some more...I need a change, my life needs to be re-focused...on the positive, on the blessings, on the joy, on God. And not just for a month, but I need to challenge myself to make it a habit, a habit of focus on the good I have in my life. I do...I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for, and yet so often I focus on the negative. In order to change my outlook, to change my way of thinking, and to re-focus my priorities I have to do this consistently for a while.

So, I decided to begin a year-long journey of gratitude...an attitude of gratitude. A dear friend that work with coined that phrase. Others may have also thought of it and used it, but Pug (my dear friend) LIVES IT to the fullest! She shared that phrase in Chapel one day the first year I was at McMurry. I have remembered it and her positive spirit ever since. So, to you Pug...THANK YOU!

My year of gratitude begins today. I was going to start on January 1, 2012, but I am excited and ready to start now. I don't want to hold back just because the calendar says so. That would be very S-J of me...Meyers Briggs for those of you that don't know what I am talking about. No, no, no...this journey is not about calendars, or deadlines. It is about soul searching and gratitude.

Today, December 26, 2011, I would like to start my journey of gratitude by thanking two precious friends that have made this journey possible. They didn't even know I was doing this journey, but their presence in my life has made a difference and made my journey of gratitude possible. Every day for a year I will write about what I thankful for, grateful for; I will praise God for something. I will do this either on this blog or in an actual written journal. This blog was made possible by my spunky, fiesty, Italian friend, Katy Guercio King...The Queen of the Kings! She has inspired me to blog my journey and her blog has inspired and enabled my blog to take shape. Katy is a working mother of two, soon to be three. She does it all with grace, compassion, wit, and humor. She loves her family, is incredibly generous, and such a precious, fun-loving soul! I miss her SO much, but when I read her blogs, I feel as if I am there with her and to kids, living life alongside them. Katy has helped make my blog possible and I love her for inspiring my creative soul and helping me believe that I can do this blog thing. And also believe that you can be an awesome mom and wife while working. Next, is Carla...again, she had no clue that I was beginning this journey, but she gave me an awesome journal for Christmas! It's like she knew...could read my mind or feel that I needed it. It's the perfect journal for me, too, with all the qualities that I like in a journal. Sounds kind of silly to have qualities you like in a journal, but it's true. I like my journals to be spiral bound, and lined, and it has flowers...and stuff. Plus she wrote me a beautiful message on the inside. What a TRUE friend I have in Carla! I am so incredibly grateful for her, for her constant, steady presence in my life, for her honesty, and support.

And so with two awesome friends helping me to provide my two avenues for gratitude, I begin my journey. I am grateful for these women...Katy King and Carla. Thank you for helping me in countless ways.